Carry only what you can

Of course as I lay down. I was thinking about the future. And also when I started learning about this. Who I am and what it entails. I was bogged down by details. Like for instance just the core of my IAM is enough to break a person. In the kundalini experience it basically almost did. Then you realize you have 13 siblings that well to be frankly honest about it aren’t your normal everyday siblings. Then you are told of the plans which are not exactly buying a new car. Or simplistic. Then you look at your life and at this moment that old you is gone. There is no going back. I was standing at a threshold of two vastly different worlds. Scared and intrigued at the same time. Knowing that I must become who I am. But also knowing that I must be who I am at the same time. Meaning I told you and showed you my tests, data, everything. I wasn’t going on faith as I do not like or believe in faith. There is only knowing. I don’t do half measures. But also the thrill of having 13 wonderful, chaotic, beautiful beings.

The thought of changing the game into one that is better. Then I started analyzing every detail like what their embodiments would be like. I will love and accept them the same. But do they have kids, husbands, wives, etc. I will love them but will I mesh with them energetically? Will there be enough chairs? Is this table big enough? What about beds? I'd want them to know no matter what they have a place to call home. If their lives were as violent as mine? I’d want to be there for them especially if it was or worse. Then I started thinking how could I be there for them now? How do I apologize for not being for them then. Then the rabbit hole continued. Then I just had to go look. I am going to do what I can, do what I must, collapse the timelines as they should. The rest I won;’t have faith but know it will work out. The answers and solutions will arise. I think that was the most freeing decision I made. To not carry the weight of the unknown but carry what I can. The rest I know will work out. I don’t know how. I just know the experiences will be brilliant. As I focus on remembering them. My will will get there and to do the things that provide opportunities for the universe to fulfill. Meaning create and put my energy into creation. The vessels are resonant clean. So the universe has options but not limit it to those options. Just have the foundation up.